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VLOG : DAY IN MY LIFE LIFE AFTER CERVICAL CANCER SELF CARE AND MENTAL HEALTH DOING GEL OR BIAB NAILS AT …

18 Comments

  1. Am so sorry to hear about your cancer I’m going through menopause and it sucks my thoughts and vibes are with you sending hugs crying helps

  2. I’ve had 4 weeks of awful anxiety and depression suffered for years but had a bad blip had my meds upped and seeing a counsellor and it’s helping struggling with mental health is very overwhelming your not alone and for what you’ve been through it’s completely understandable life is hard
    I keep busy a lot to distract myself but doesn’t always help we all need to cry it helps xx

  3. Lovely to see the vlogs again Beth, I believe time heals everything but we do still have go through the motions wishing you well babe 💜❤️💜

  4. Hi lovely,

    I've only watched the first 5 to 10 minutes of this but am already emotional watching you. I can relate to this sooooooo much. Not in the same way and I'd never compare to what you have gone through (and continue to) but I understand how you feel especially when you said about feeling like there were 2 versions of you.

    This is something I say a lot – I think that we grieve for the old versions of ourselves that we no longer are and it can be hard to accept this and fully let go.

    Prior to 2016 I was super active, fit, healthy, worked long hours, had a great social life and worked for a luxury travel company so travelled heaps to some incredible places. I spent 9 months travelling solo in 2016. In the Dec of that year my health completely crashed and I have been housebound/often bedbound for nearly 6 years now. For the first few years all I kept saying was I can't wait to get back to my old self. As time has progressed I have realised (reluctantly) that won't happen. I will somehow have to find a new version of 'normal' and 'me' and that is okay although it will be difficult.

    I also understand about your hormones being all over the place – don't forget how powerful they can be and they can cause you to sit on the floor all day crying or have a fit of rage or outburst that you know just isn't you. It is easy to feel possessed sometimes and that you've lost your mind. You haven't.

    No doubt you are also experiencing a lot of trauma from everything you have been through too, you can't expect to go through what you have and for it not to affect you. I think sometimes these things affect our mental health later as at the time we are doing all we can to 'hold it together' in order to survive it and get through.

    I find people around me don't fully understand – they are probs relived you are the other side of it but just don't realise the long lasting impact it has on you and that your days are still just as hard but for different reasons.

    My counsellor and I often compare adapting after illness to a prisoner being released. A lot don't know how to adjust to life outside so they re-offend and end up back inside which is their safe space as its what they've known and are used to. Or even when a hostage is freed after being held captive – loved ones are overjoyed and relieved it's over but for the hostage it's only the beginning and they have a long way to go. That may sound completely random but hopefully it makes some sense.

    I don't know if you have an outlet that helps you in any way. As I am no longer active I've found that writing has really helped me, specifically poetry which I fell into accidentally and has become a bit of a thing! And my counsellor really helps to – I can say I wouldn't be here without him.

    Also know that you are not alone and it is okay to feel every way that you do – your body has been through so much and it can take a while for the mind to catch up.

    Take care of yourself 💕 I look forward to watching the rest but just found I was welling up with how much I understand where you're coming from.

    Lots of love from one warrior to another 💪💕✨ xxx

  5. Hi lovely 😘 So pleased to see you and sorry to hear you’ve been going through a hard time. I can only imagine what you’ve been through over the past year. I identify with a lot of what you say here about your emotions. My husband passed away very suddenly 8 years ago when my boys were 11 and 16. In the months and years that followed I just devoted myself entirely to supporting my boys. Looking back on it, I was just in complete overdrive… I didn’t take any time for myself and was on the go constantly. I think subconsciously I was trying to block my emotions out. The result was that 2 years afterwards I suffered very badly with my mental health and needed a lot of support which I wish I’d sought sooner. I think it didn’t help that people kept saying how strong I was. I didn’t have a choice but in some way I think I made that my mantra to the detriment of me! Anyway, forgive me rambling on and I send you lots of love 💗 xx

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